Saying no

Is it OK to say no at work?

I think it can be quite difficult to say no, because you don't want to let the other person down.

I think if we have all kind of agreed that we're doing something in a certain way, then it becomes easier to say, well, that's not what we agreed, so, no.

I definitely want to be able to help them. But also I've got to think about whether I've already got enough on my plate.

In today's episode of Office English, we're talking about boundaries. That's the limits of what's acceptable at work.

Hello! Welcome to a new series of Office English, your podcast guide to the world of work. I'm Pippa.

And I'm Phil. Find a transcript for this episode on our website:

So we've just heard from some of the BBC Learning English team about how they try to set boundaries at work. Phil, can you explain this idea of boundaries at work?

OK, so when you start a job, you should be given a clear idea of the kind of things that are expected of you. What you have to do and things that are outside what your job is.

Yes. So setting boundaries is basically making sure that what you're being asked to do is within that original expectation that you got when you started the job.

Yeah. And it can be tricky because in many work cultures, employees are expected to go above and beyond, and often doing a bit extra can be a way to get a promotion or show your boss what you're capable of.

Yeah, it's a grey area, but we're going to talk through some of the different scenarios that you might face at work, and some language that you can use to try and set boundaries and say no when you want to say no if you can. OK, let's imagine you're at work and you're working hard on lots of different projects, but then your boss asks you to do another task for them, and you don't think that you have the time. Can you say no to them, Phil?

Well, it might depend on how they've asked and perhaps how urgent the thing that you've been asked to do is.

Yes. And if you want to try and say no, or maybe clarify what they've asked you to do, there's a few different phrases or ways that you could do that. So you could maybe say something like, 'are you happy for me to move some other things around to get this done?' So you're basically telling them that in order to do this task, you have to kind of stop doing some of the other work that you have.

Or if you're really, really busy, you can say, 'I'm snowed under at the moment. Is there anyone else that can help?' And snowed under is this idea that there's just all this work on top of you and you can't move because you're surrounded by work. You're, you're really, really busy, basically.

And another way you could phrase it is you could say, 'I can get that done for you. It might mean that we have to push back another deadline though.' So again, it's just showing them that you understand your workload and you want to do what they've asked of you, but you're just trying to kind of manage everything that you have to do.

Right. Now, let's think about another scenario. You're working on a report for your boss with an agreed deadline, but suddenly your boss wants lots of changes or extra work that you don't think you'll be able to get done in time. What do you do?

Well, it's tricky, isn't it? Again, this will be about your relationship with your boss and your workplace culture. So knowing how easily you can challenge them or ask for more clarity on what they are asking of you. So one thing you could ask is 'how firm is our deadline on this?' You can say, 'I want to get it right, but it might take more time to do everything you've asked of me'.

Yeah, you might just ask, 'is it possible to move the deadline back in light of these revisions?' Deadline, of course, is the time you've got to get it done by.

And another way you could phrase it is saying 'I'm conscious of our deadline on this. Can we prioritise which changes are most important so that we can deliver the report on time.' So saying 'I'm conscious of our deadline' you're just basically saying there isn't physically enough time to do everything, so we need to prioritise. OK, finally, let's talk about work life balance. How late should you be staying at work? Let's hear Neil and Beth talk about their working hours.

I am quite disciplined about my work in the office. I know when I want to start and leave, and I know what I can do in that time. And I find it weirdly harder when I'm working from home.

Because you're in the place where, you know, now you've got to make dinner. So it's kind of difficult going between working and stopping working and then actually being at home and not working because it is the same location, whereas it's a lot easier when I'm in the office. I know I can just finish, close my laptop and I'm done.

So Neil and Beth talked about having a clear end to the working day. Do you try and do that as well, Phil?

Yes, I try to. It might depend what I've got in a week and what I've got to get done. But yeah, I try to make sure I leave on time. This is something that depends a lot on the culture in your workplace or just where you work, of course.

Yes. In some workplaces it might be quite normal for you to have an official kind of working time, but that you work longer than that. So it's probably a good idea to look at what is normal in your organisation. So do people generally stay a little bit later or not, but do have your own boundaries, have your own kind of idea of what is acceptable.

Yeah, sometimes we talk about presenteeism, which is when people are working really long hours in the office, just hoping that people will notice that they're doing that, sometimes even when they haven't actually got any work to do.

Yes. There's this idea that time spent at a desk is time worked, but it's not always the case. You might be sat there, but not really doing much. So there's some phrases that we can use sometimes if we want to make sure that we need to leave. If you need to kind of make that clear to your team. So you could say something like, 'I'm keen to get away on time today. Is there anything I can do to get ahead?' So you're sort of warning someone that I do need to leave at a set time today.

There's a lovely phrase here as well. You can say, 'are you happy for me to park this and pick it up in the morning?' Parking, like when you park your car, you leave it somewhere. If you park a piece of work, it means you just put it somewhere. You don't touch it and you come back to it later.

And that phrase is a question. So it's quite indirect. So it's not saying 'I'm leaving now.' It's being polite to your boss or whoever you're talking to. That's it for this episode of Office English. We'll be back next week to talk about giving presentations at work.

In the meantime, let us know what you think of this podcast. Email learningenglish@bbc.co.uk

Bye for now.

Bye.